Everyday habits for children’s mental health fitness start at home

In this three-part series on children’s mental health, learn about perfectionism, healthy risk taking and everyday habits to build kids’ emotional resilience, to help you parent with confidence and support your child’s wellbeing.

You probably already know the three main ingredients to physical health—eat well, exercise and get lots of sleep. But what about the recipe for good mental health?

Anxiety and depression are on the rise in children, with an estimated one in seven experiencing mental health problems¹. For parents and caregivers, that number can be concerning.

So what can you do to strengthen your child’s mental health to help them feel good, build emotional resilience and cope with life’s challenges? While mental health problems can be caused by a range of factors and not all are preventable, it can be comforting to know that good mental health starts at home.

Building good mental health habits doesn’t need to be complicated. Creating positive family interactions, modeling how you handle stress well and looking after yourself can all go a long way in helping your child build their mental health muscles.

The power of positive family interactions

Life seems to be busier than ever and parents and caregivers are juggling a lot these days. Everyday parenting on its own can be hard enough, but throw in working, studying, worrying about finances, lack of sleep or health concerns, and it can feel exhausting. And that’s just you!

Your child and other family members might also be going through their own challenges. Put it all together and it can make for some pretty interesting family dynamics. And that’s okay. Being part of a family, whether it’s just you and your child or a larger family, is naturally full of ups and downs. But there are ways to help smooth the bumps in the road.

Research insights from the Australian National Children’s Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy² found the family environment is the single most important influence on a child’s development. While good physical health habits, friendships and community connections are all important for children’s mental health, positive family relationships and interactions have the biggest impact.

Being positive doesn’t mean pretending to be happy or sweeping issues under the rug. It’s about noticing the good in your child, helping them feel valued and dealing with challenges by problem-solving and finding solutions together.

10 easy workouts to support children’s mental health

Imagine you and your family are taking care of your mental health. What would that look like in your home? How would you and your child feel? What would you do together to make happy memories, grow closer and bring more joy into your home? Every family is different and you know your child best, so it can be helpful to think about what makes you and your child feel good.

Here are 10 ideas you might like to consider that can be adapted to suit your family’s interests and your child’s age:

1. Praise your child for their efforts and the behaviors you like to see—“Wow, you worked really hard on that drawing/tidying your room/finishing that school project” or “I really like how you shared your toys/made your bed/loaded the dishwasher.”
2. Spend time together having fun and relaxing both indoors and outdoors, whether throwing a ball, going to the park or playground, playing boardgames or video games, telling jokes, reading aloud to your child or side-by-side, or making popcorn and watching a movie. Also be mindful that excessive or problematic screen time has been linked to mental health problems in children, so try to encourage a healthy balance.
3. Tell and show them you love and value them in ways that feel natural to you—saying “I love you” or “I’m so lucky I’m your mom/dad” or “I love spending time with you”, giving them a hug, ruffling their hair, creating a secret handshake, leaving a sweet note for them to find in their school lunch or clothes drawers, making their favorite breakfast on the weekend.
4. Give simple instructions calmly and offer choices where possible to empower your child and support their growing independence—“Tidy up your toys now please—do you want to put the big ones or little ones away first?” or for older children, “It’s time to do the dishes—do you want to do the washing or drying?”
5. Create routines and family rituals, such as sitting around the table at mealtimes or going for Sunday afternoon walks, to enhance your child’s sense of safety, security and belonging.
6. Explain family rules to build trust and respect—“We tidy up to keep the house nice and clean and so we can find things when we need them.”
7. Treat siblings equally instead of showing favoritism or comparing them to help reduce sibling rivalry and support closer relationships between all family members.
8. Acknowledge your child’s feelings to support their emotional development—“It’s okay to cry/be sad/angry/disappointed.”
9. Listen to them without judgement when they’re worried or distressed to help your child feel understood. Show empathy and try problem-solving together—“That must be hard. Tell me more. I’m here for you. What do you think would help?”
10. Have fair and reasonable consequences appropriate for their age—“It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hit people or break things. We’re going to leave the playground now/replace the item with your pocket money/make sure you apologize sincerely and make things right.”

Looking after yourself and handling stress well helps your child too

Everyone feels stressed from time to time and we all handle it differently. Children learn a lot about how to deal with stress by watching their parents and caregivers. If you handle stress well, your child will likely learn to handle it well too.

Just noticing that you’re feeling stressed is one of the most important steps in not letting it get the better of you. When we feel stressed and tired, we can end up doing and saying things we later regret—sometimes to the people who matter most to us. By recognizing stress, you give yourself a chance to choose what to do next. That might be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, going for a walk, listening to music that makes you feel good, writing in a journal, talking to someone you trust, or making a plan to change something that’s been bothering you for a while. If you’re really struggling, know you’re not alone and that help is available from a health professional.

When parents and caregivers take time to look after their own health and well-being, this does wonders for their children too. As the old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup, so let go of any guilt you might be feeling about taking some time out for yourself.

By supporting your child’s mental health, you’ll not only be preparing them to handle whatever challenges come their way, but helping them enjoy life to the full.

If your child is struggling…

If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, help and support is available through your child’s doctor, pediatrician, or mental health professional. The earlier you can get help, the better. Support services for children and teenagers are also available at Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14, and Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636.

Learn more about positive parenting through our online programs:

Every parent can benefit from evidence-based strategies to support their child. For families of children aged 12 and under, Triple P Online can help. For support with teens, you could try Teen Triple P Online. For parents and caregivers of anxious or worried children, Fear-Less Triple P Online can help. 

References

1. Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2022). Australia's children. Retrieved from https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/children-youth/australias-children
2. National Children’s Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy. (2021). National Mental Health Commission. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealthcommission.gov.au/projects/childrens-strategy